Pick up the phone!

Why am I cursed with my stupid Sprint cellular phone?! Why, 3 years ago when I was perusing all of the cellular phones, did I choose one of the Sprint models? Were they cheaper than the others? Was the Circuit City worker trying to force one upon me? Did my grandmother tell me that they were superior? What?? WHY?! Because all I know is the FLAVA FLAV ringtone is available for T-Mobile, Cingular and AT&T subscribers ONLY. I cannnot articulate how much I love the "FLAVA FLAV! YEEEAH BOYEE!" It brings joy into my life, as does the small, black rapper man from which it emanates. All I want is to be alerted to future phone calls by none other than Flava himself. Is it so much to ask? I am being excluded simply because I pay Sprint to let me receive phone calls on the go as opposed to paying AT&T for that service. It's discriminatory for certain. Flava, I will have you one day, until then I'll have to exist with you only in heart.