Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Diego's story

As all the world knows by now, I have a wee 3 1/2 year old brother. He is damn near as witty and attractive as I am too, I'm tellin' ya. This super random story is testament to that.
On the fam's last trip to that little place that I like to refer to as the armpit of the U. S. of A., Florida, they snagged themselves one of those pesky little lizards to cage and ogle at their leisure. (I was not included in this trip, mind you, as I would rather have my ass kicked than ever go to Florida again.) This poor little creature lives in his glass aquarium on the kitchen counter at my mother's house. One day, while I was watching Mark we went into the kitchen to make lunch and he hopped onto a chair and yelled, "Let's find Diego!" Visions of a fat, sweaty Latino with a thick moustache ducking behind our garbage can popped into my head as I asked, "Who on earth is Diego??" My bro then gave me a look to signify that I was clearly retarded and motioned toward the lizard's cage. I asked him how this little guy's name came to be "Diego" but he never did give me a satisfactory explanation.
FINALLY today I remembered to ask my mom what was up with that and she told me when they caged this creature and it was finally time for him to have a name the task was left up to Mark. He then apparently began sputtering gibberish and when my mom said she couldn't understand him he replied, "Mom, that's because I was speaking in Spanish." (Duh.) He wanted the lizard to have a Spanish name so my mom listed various, super obvious Latino names like Julio and Manuel until she finally came to Diego and my wee young brother was satiated.

Just so that everyone knows, Diego has been alive and well, living off of 12 crickets a week, in that cage for about 2 months now. He must be like Superlizard or something. I mean, he should certainly have croaked by now, right?


emily said...

hey, when the lizard dies you could name the cage 'sans diego'. yes, i am retarded.

samantha fay said...

that's genius!

DJ said...

My lizard's name was "Motherfucker". We pitted him against a preying mantis named "Cup of Cunt" back in Baptist boarding school, and I forgot who won. History sucks. Your brother's awesome.

Ekko said...

sayin whazzup after your comment on my riley post--i agree. i likepostal service, but they're better writers than performers.

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